If you've been following my blogs, you'll be aware that Derek, my partner of 22 years, headed off to follow his dreams a few weeks ago. Last week my daughters and I travelled to NSW to visit him, expecting that we would then return to Melbourne and not see him again for another 10 weeks or so. (See previous blog entries: 'Trusting Our Paths', 'House Hunting', and 'Amazing Synchronicity').
Derek is returning home. His willingness to trust that urge to go north and not resist it allowed him to fully feel and experience what he needed to up there, and he is now complete with that journey and will be heading back home soon.
It's been a wonderful journey for both of us into the dynamics of trust.
Brings to mind that old biblical story in which Abraham had to demonstrate his willingess to trust God and sacrifice his only son, Isaac; as soon as he trusted and acted in faith, the sacrifice was no longer necessary. Our situation was obviously very different (!), but I'm struck by the principle that when we don't resist something, it can flow on to its true purpose, whereas when we fear and resist, we sometimes create a problem that might never have been necessary.
It's been very clarifying and valuable for both of us to have some time apart as well, and during my short visit in the Promised Land last week, Derek and I shared many deep and honest conversations about what that brief separation triggered for each of us. For Derek, that included the opportunity to work out his values hierarchy, and he has realised that being with his family is top of the list. And the looming independence shone lights on areas of limitation that I needed to face.
We also shared a rather fantastic 'outdoor' shower with views of palm trees and rainforest greenery and a huge, luxurious head, drenching us with delicious, pure water straight from the Never Never Creek – don't you love the names! We played in the surf at beaches along the coast, sunbaked on the sand, walked along country roads between large, beautiful properties (many, amazingly, with acres of mowed lawns...), drank fresh water from the creek, admired the Bellinger River, ate out at local restaurants, and stayed cosily inside during days of torrential rain.
And we had the unexpected privilege of meeting famous Australian pianist, David Helfgott, who spontaneously turned up to visit us on the property where we were staying and gave us an impromptu performance (talking and playing simultaneously and rapidly), as well as lots of warm hugs and an outpouring of information, wisdom and madness! David was portrayed brilliantly by Geoffrey Rush in the film 'Shine'; on the evening after his surprise visit Derek and I and our daughters cuddled up on the bed and watched it together. It's quite extraordinary to see a movie about someone only hours after you have met them – especially someone as complex, intense and 'talented' as David Helfgott. (I put talent in quotes for a reason – explained in my writing e-course: 'Writing (& life) Mastery' which is temporarily unavailable.)
Our daughters drove much of the way there and back (on their Ls, happily accruing hours in their log books) – that was an adventure in itself! We now feel relaxed, renewed and ready for the next stage in the adventure. I'm aware that I'm due for another level of introspection and direction-clarification as I spent over an hour yesterday getting lost locally...
Speaking of trust, I have just been invited to participate in the making of a documentary about home birth. It's called 'The Face of Birth', and aims to respond to the current fearful and controlling approach regarding birth that is emerging in our hospitals and through the medical model. Australia has only narrowly escaped having home birth made illegal, but I gather that right now this very natural process is being controlled to the extent that women have time limits on labour and are shunted off for inductions and caesarians if their babies do not follow a set procedure... This is absurd as the body (life) has its own wisdom which we must honour or we'll find ourselves unleashing worse problems than a slightly longer-than-desired labour. (It seems to me that the Japanese claim that they had their nuclear power stations in control and 'foolproof' revealed a cockiness that required humbling. The ancient Greeks called this 'hubris' and warned that such arrogance would arouse the ire of the gods. Whether we consider the events that followed the acts of gods or God or Nature or agencies such as HAARP, it's clear that the principle being demonstrated here was 'be humble and respectful rather than arrogant and controlling'...)
I wrote an article some years ago about the natural home births of our beautiful twin daughters. I'll post it in the Articles section. It's all about trust.